Lessons From Movies

1. Fish are friends, not food. Okay sorry no matter how many times I tell myself that and no matter how much I watch this movie and try to go off fish I can’t. I LOVE fish. Sushi is my guilty pleasure. I mean I’m not eating no clown fish or dory fish so I think I’m alright.
2. Mr. Ray is the coolest teacher there is. If I was in kindergarden I’d want to ride around on a manta-ray and see coral reefs. Nemo is lucky. Funny thing is, my middle school, junior high and high school Principle was a man named Mr. Wray……. no wonder I was nemo for halloween. but I didn’t get to ride on his back. OBVIOUSLY not a manta-ray. 
3. All roller-coaster rides at amusement parks and or any form of public transportation like Airplanes, Trains, Cruise-liners etc should have Squirt do their rundown of proper exiting technique. He’s just so cute and even though you won’t understand what he’s saying it’d just be an entertaining thing to watch, unlike the safety procedures we have now that are the most boring thing on the planet.  I dno, but I think i’d learn a lot more by watching him swim around showing me the way to exit, rather than pretending to listen to a flight attendant telling me how to put on a seatbelt.
4. It is possible to speak whale, look a dory, she got Marlin to Sydney through whale communication
5. Speaking of Dory, is she not the coolest thing ever? I mean first of all she is voiced by Ellen DeGeneres (does not get cooler than that), she is a fish that can read, she speaks whale, she has short term memory loss (trust me you may actually want that when you constantly do embarrassing things), has the ability to befriend sharks and makes up catchy songs on the spot! I mean, just keep swimming, just keep swimming la la la la la you get it, its awesome.
6. Jumping on the top of a jellyfish is probably the funnest thing ever. except for when you get stung and knocked out. that bit, not so fun.
7. P. Sherman, 42 Wallaby Way, Sydney. that is one address I have learned from Finding Nemo, that I will probably never forget for life. 
8. Don’t mess with someones bubbles. If it’s their bubbles, its their bubbles. end of story
9. Once you swim through the ring of fire at the top of mount Wanna-hock-a-loogie your then known as sharkbait oo ha-ha
10. We found nemo. greatest lesson ever. 

1. Um, one of the best form of time machine is a hot tub. I would say that this easily competes with the DeLorean in Back to the future. I’m not going to go as far as saying that a hot tub is any better, because well the DeLorean is THE all time time machine to ever exist, but come on, traveling back in time in a hot tub? It’s like party time, coolness and nerdy-ness in one form of transportation.
2. If you ever need to question when in time you have arrived in, ask the first person you see if Michael Jackson is black. I guess.. now.. you’d have to ask if he was alive. too soon? eek.
3. If you do end up traveling to the past, stay and take everyones brilliant ideas from the future and make them your own. For example, create google, but with your name. Like in the move.. “Lougle” or in my case “Stasiagle” or “Fongle” I like fongle better.
4. When you are in the past, also call your wife, and scare the shit out of her so she doesn’t cheat on you, and force you to take her last name
5. Never drink Russian Redbull. wait what am I kidding, the Russian Redbull made the hot tub into a time machine. so drink it. your life will become at least 10 times cooler. 
6. If you have to perform when you’re in the past, obviously sing Let’s Get it Started by the Black Eyed Peas. although it was originally Let’s Get Retarded, but apparently that’s offensive. I mean, fair enough, it would be if it was in context, but retarded in this context isn’t offensive at all! whatevs, I wish that I had Jesse’s girl. No. I AM JESSE’S GIRL. 

1. The best chef can come from the most unexpected source. A rat, that can cook. I don’t know who thought of the concept for this movie but it is probably the most random thing on the planet, but it’s absolutely perfect. Pixar can never do anything wrong
2. Always believe yourself when you think your competition has a rat underneath his toque controlling all of his actions. You never know who’s actually behind all the gourmet meals you eat in 5 star restaurants. 
3. Horst killed a man. with THIS THUMB. best murder weapon/fake (or is it?) story ever
4. If you’re going to name a food, you should give it a name that sounds delicious. Ratatouille doesn’t sound delicious. It sounds like Rat, and Patootie! Rat Patootie! Which doesn’t sound delicious.
5. Sometimes the most simple dish can warm a person’s heart. Food brings erryone together. I love food. and I would taste the food cooked by Remy the rat anyday
6. If you’re opening a restaurant with a Rat as a head chef make sure you leave room to set up a small little rat restaurant above. Rats need to eat gourmet food too!
7. Never eat frozen meals that are supposedly under the name of a gourmet chef. If you want to try the food of a gourmet chef, go to their gourmet restaurant. I mean who would want to eat something called Gusteau’s Corn Puppies?
8. Regardless, some of the taglines on the frozen food meals are funny. Easy to cook, easy to eat, Gusteau makes Chinese food, Chin-easy! so punny. 

1. Every single Movie that Leonardo DiCaprio has been in recently is a complete mindfuck. Inception is obviously a step up from Shutter Island, but Shutter Island is a mind fuck nevertheless. 
2. Leonardo DiCaprio was NOT actually insane, and at the end of the film he fakes being cured and gives in to the scenario that the psychiatrists present to him, and then pretends that he was not cured in order for him to find out what happens in the lighthouse on shutter island. Thats the most sense I could make out of it. 
3. Men, never let a woman be your weakness. They will haunt your dreams and eat your brain alive. 
4. Begin all creepy movies set in a mental institution with women who’s heads are practically bald and tell you to shh, and then smile at you creepily. it sets the mood perfectly. 
5. The law of 4. Who is 67? Leonardo DiCaprio! that’s who’s missing. 
6. Honestly, I have no idea. I am so confused by the brilliance of this movie that I am just.. confused. 

1. If you are an indie band that is trying to be famous and your life goal is to be as badass as the guy from Maroon 5, do not assume that a girl that is as good looking as Megan Fox is a virgin. I mean seriously. and then don’t go on and perform some voodoo magic trick on her because it will obviously turn her into some man eating whore (pun intended)
2. If you’re name is Anita, please refrain from making your nickname needy. 
3. According to Jennifer Check, Sex smells like Thai Food. wtf?
4. To remain a consistent bitch in your friends life, steal their toys and pour lemonade on their bed when they’re little, and when they get older, eat their boyfriend. true frenz4lyfe
5. Boobs are like smart bombs, you point them in the right direction and shit gets real
6. Aquamarine is about a girl who is like half sushi, so she obviously had sex with a blowhole or something
7. If you get stabbed in the stomach, ask for a tampon to plug the flow. duh.
8. Adam Brody cannot act as a bad murderous psycho band member. It just doesn’t feel right. He is Seth Cohen and forever will be Seth Cohen in my mind. 

1. Angelina Jolie is probably one of the most badass Women on the planet. I mean she was in Tomb Raider, Mr and Mrs Smith and now this? Honestly, I wish I could look this good while I killed a bunch of Russian’s aiming to destroy the United States.
2. Everywhere around us, especially in the Government there are secret Russian Spies who’s aim is to destroy America slowly, so it dies a slow and painful death. Sorta creepy, considering my Boss from my internship this summer was Russian…
3. When running away from the CIA make sure you move your puppy into a secure location. If you don’t well… you suck
4. So that you keep everyone confused about your true motives in life, do one thing that makes you appear bad (kill the Russian President when really you just poisoned him with a spider that paralyzes you — the spider just reminded me of lost, I totally predicted what happened because of what I’ve watched in Lost. Thank you J.J. Abrams), so that everyone in the american CIA is after you, and then kill all of the Russians you apparently work for so people get even more confused, and it goes on. 

Honestly, don’t bother watching this. It’s nothing compared to Tomb Raider and Mr and Mrs Smith, and the plot is so predictable. I wasn’t that impressed at all. Then again, after watching Inception i’m not sure what’s going to impress me now. 

1. It is possible to be a good serial killer. I mean, you wouldn’t think so, cause killing is a BAD, BAD THING. But Dexter, somehow makes it seem okay. That takes skill. He kills other serial killers. A serial Killer, that kills serial killers. Genius.
2. Michael C. Hall is without a doubt the best actor to portray someone who has no feelings. Usually actors and actresses are praised for how well they portray emotions, but Michael C. Hall is praised for how little he portrays any emotion. SKILLZ
3. I’ve never been that big a fan of blood. I mean, its red and thick and well pretty much gross. After watching Dexter, Blood.. is kind of cool. I mean, I kind of just wanna fill a plastic head with fake blood and wack it because Dexter makes it seem so awesome and fun. 
4. If you’re a girl and a cop/ want to be a cop, swear a shit load. like Deb. fuckity fuck fuck fuck. It just makes you seem so much more badass and I guess it sorta gets you more respect in the work place. fuck yeah
5. Asian’s haven’t been known to be portrayed that well in TV or Movies. Being Asian myself, I kinda grow tired of the whole kung fu/can’t speak English/small eyes/Mulan stereotype. Masuka…. represents a whole new representation. I don’t know whether to say I’m happy that we’re being represented as something other than the common stereotype, or be completely pissed off that the only Asian character on the show is a complete sleaze. other than that Masuka is kind of awesome. I mean, it takes skill to turn absolutely everything into something sexual. 
6. To be good you gotta be badddd. badass. Like dexter. he makes everything seem badass. even cracking an egg, eating ham, shaving, tieing his shoelaces and my personal favorite, putting on his shirt. damn. 

1. The Greatest thing you’ll ever learn is to Love and be loved in return
2. In order to find yourself as a writer you have to be British, move to Paris, have someone fall through your roof and then somehow get involved in a musical/show put on by men who technically work for a classy strip club. Then fall in love with the most desired temptress, who first thinks you’re a duke, then realizes you’re a writer and falls in love with you, find out she’s deathly ill with tuberculosis and is promised to be wed to a creepy duke and then have her die. Pretty difficult career to be a writer, I suggest you all forego any ambition in that field because well, it’s just too heartbreaking
3. Turn all Elton John lyrics into conversation. and then slowly start belting out in song. It just makes life more fun to live. They did it with “Your Song,” anyone could easily do it with Tiny Dancer! 
4. Do the same with Madonna songs. Aka. “you made her feel like a virgin, you know, touched for the very first time?” The movie is genius. 
5. Have Kylie Minogue be the representation of absinth. She’s short, her songs are all disco-ey and kind of high pitched, I mean she’s the perfect representation of the buzz that absinth gives you…. right? 
6. This one is for you men. Never fall in love with a woman who sells herself. It always ends bad. I mean she died. doesn’t end much worse than that.

1. Life is better on in an alternate world named Pandora. You live with everyone in a super cool treehouse, fly around on creepy dragon things, ride around on horses with no eyes, basically use your hair braid to do.. everything.. from riding these horses and dragons to well. having sex. Also Pandora has the same name as the music website Pandora. So the awesome-ness is undeniable.
2. The Na’vi people are blue. BLUE. I mean, I want to be blue. like Blue da ba de da be dai blue. Or like Blue the dog in blue’s clue.
3. On Pandora you can defy all odds. Like, Jake Scully is in a wheelchair on earth, but when he’s an Avatar on Pandora, he’s King of that shit. He gets with Neytiri who is weirdly hot for a huge blue half naked sparkly woman, he manages to be the next Toruk Makto, defeats the evil humans and manages to transition fully from life on Earth into one of the Na’vi on Pandora. Arty from Glee should probably try and become an Avatar cause then he’d be able to dance. Just a suggestion?
4. If you put your hair on a sparkly pink tree you can hear people’s wishes/thoughts. I haven’t tried it personally but that is pretty badass. If you find me tying my hair into a braid and then connecting my braid to a tree in the next few days.. don’t be surprised
5. James Cameron is pretty much the Master of CGI. Holy shit. Also, he has the weirdest imagination. How you would ever come up with the idea that sexual intercourse is touching hair follicles I have no idea, but hey, it works. 

1. If you are a Viking, you have to have a terrifying name. The most terrifying of all names possible, is Hiccup. I already have goosebumps just hearing that name. fuck. 
2. Things work better when you make your enemies your friends! After Hiccup saved everyone, there were no dragons flying around burning everything and stealing fluffy sheep! yay. I love cartoons and the wonderfully cheesy morals that they try to instill on the lil’bebes of the world
3. You can be the odd egg of the entire village and still save the world. you go awkwardly skinny viking named Hiccup
4. The Night Fury isn’t actually very furious at all. I mean, his name is toothless, and I don’t know about you but it’s probably one of the cutest creatures I have ever laid eyes on in my life. I want a dragon. thats how cute it is.
5. If your son is awkwardly small, and his Mother has left her armor for him, make him a hat out of her breast plate. and then refer to it as a breast hat. so much support!
6. Dragons are strikingly similar to Pokemon. I mean I don’t know about you, but that book that they have with all the info about the dragons… sounds similar to a Pokemon cards to me. and anything that has anything that related/similar to Pokemon is well, genius.

1. Paul Rudd is without a doubt, the cutest and sweetest man to ever exist. I mean, although I do want my husband to have some boys, I would love to have my husband make me floats with pepperidge farm pirouettes in them. so. cute.
2. When trying to ensure that someone becomes your bro, make sure to use appropriate terminology such as “totes magotes,” “laters on the menjay,” 
3. Refer to all friends not as bro, or pistol, but refer to them as “Joben” and “muchacha” and if you have to say bro, make sure you add montana to that. Bro montana. thats the way to go.  oh or broseph goebbels.
4. Andy Samberg is without a doubt the best man to portray a Gay man. wonderful. Okay the cast in this movie is just PERFECT.
5. At all times when playing the bass, you have to say “Slappin Da Bass” Just like a jamaican. Slappin da basssssssssss. if you don’t, just put the bass down. no rosemary flatbread panini for you.
6. Jason Segal is the only man that can pull of Ugg Boots. I repeat. the ONLY man. if you are a man and you are tempted to try Ugg Boots… just don’t. no. no. 
7. As a present to your bro montana, make sure to buy them a plentiful amount of billboards where they are dressed as ridiculous stereotypical characters such as James Bond and a Cowboy as this will help their careers, in no matter what field as much as possible. you also have to make sure that these billboards appear only on Sunset Boulevard. 
8. Make sure everything you say makes you sound like a leprechaun. especially if your wife’s name is Zooey. say it like this. “ZOOOOO..Eh”

1. Barney Stinson is a God. Not only is this because he is played by none other than Neil Patrick Harris (I love him, have I mentioned this already?), he basically has the best lines in the show and is the reason that I have continued to follow this wonderful TV show
2. The story of how Ted met his wife is very, very, very long. 5 seasons long. I mean seriously Ted, is it really this necessary for your two children to know of every single relationship that has led up to their mother? I’m pretty sure they didn’t need to know that you were madly in love/thought Robin was the one. But hey, whatever, its entertaining and hopefully you’ll get to the end soon.
3. Suit up. If you suit up, you look good and you get what you want. Tips from Barney Stinson. Christopher Nolan obviously took this tip and applied it to the cast of Inception, which is why the cast looked so Goddamn perfect.
4. Everything in life is legen… wait for it… dary!
5. The best way to set your friend up with someone anywhere is to play.. “Have you met….(Insert Friend’s Name Here)?”
6. The perfect place to hang out with your friends is an Irish pub. Choose your own local Irish pub, like Maclaren’s. I mean, I’ve done it in Boston, I chose JJ Foley’s. 
7. Everything in life is made more fun when you salute whenever someone says the words “major”, “general”, “corporal” etc. I mean it just makes you feel all important and shit. plus some subtle humor. its legen…wait for it.. dary!

I edited the theme of my blog and I have a super new header all designed by my wonderful little sister. Check out her tumblr.

I also added specific pages for Things I’ve learnt about Movies and Things I’ve learnt about TV Shows. You can find them under the header on the main page. Should make it easier for people to find posts. :)

Don’t forget to give me suggestions on what to post! If I haven’t yet seen the movie/TV show give me some time to watch it and then i’ll post something eventually

1. Harry Potter is a Wizard. But he’s only a wizard because Hagrid said “Yer a Wizard Harry” and exactly like that. If it wasn’t Hagrid, and if Hagrid didn’t say it in that accent, He would be a muggle. yes. that’s right.
2. Owls are the best form of postal service. essentially I guess it’s airmail, but what kind of airmail can come straight to your window/bombard letters through your letter box and fireplace when your fat Uncle Vernon doesn’t let you read your acceptance letter to Hogwarts? Well, I know that no Boeing 747 can do that shit. 
3. Do not eat Bertie Bots every flavored beans. I mean, who would want to risk ever having to come upon tasting a booger flavored bean? not me.
4. If your Professor stutters, is obviously not Muslim and wears a turban, and refuses to shake your hand because you defeated “He Who Must Not Be Named’… fuck that I’m saying it; Voldermort, pull off his turban. I can guarantee you will find a creepy rat looking face on the back of his head, and this face will be Voldermort’s. Punch that bitch
5. The only Banks that are cool banks are banks that are guarded by Goblins and opened by Goblins nails. Also ones that you have to ride boats on in order to get to your vault. I mean, its like Disneyland and a Haunted Mansion and adulthood combined into one location!
6. Name all terrifying things fluffy. 
7. The only school that you can accept an acceptance letter to is Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Sorry Harvard, you’re not legit enough because you don’t have a Great Hall with a cool night sky, floating candles and food that appears out of thin air. 

1. If you find a lost baby, make sure to check its collar. After doing so, name the baby Carlos and make it appear to be jack off at the dining table
2. Do not mix roofies with Jaegermeister. Wait, what am I putting on this blog? don’t take roofies! Drugs are bad for you! Jaegermeister on the other hand, go ahead. knock yourself out. 
3. Tigers love pepper. They hate cinnamon
4. When driving away from anyone, put on an Asian accent and scream “Toodaloo Mother fuckers!”
5. All wolfpacks start as a one man wolfpack. and then it grows by one. first you’ll be alone in your wolfpack, and then someone else will join. and then that someone else will introduce you to 2 other friends and you will think “Wait a second, could it be?” and you will add 2 more people to your wolfpack. Four wolves, running around the desert together. 
6. Caesars Palace in Vegas is not the real Caesars Palace. Caesar did NOT live there.
7. Retard is not pronounced re-tard, it is pronounced Ri-tard
8. What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas. except for Herpes. that shit comes back with you. 
9. The best thing in life is a digital camera. it documents everything that you do not remember because of alcohol. best thing. ever.

1. Slam together every single possible high school stereotype, race and sexual orientation, make sure they sing well, and you have the cast of Glee. I mean look at it. Rachel is the daughter of a Gay Couple. Finn, Puck, Mike and Matt are all Jocks. Quinn, Santana and Brittany are all Cheerleaders. Kurt is Gay, and Arty is in a Wheelchair. There are 2 African American Characters on the show, Matt and Mercedes, with Mercedes also being on the larger side. There are 2 Asians on the Show, Tina and Mike. Emma also has OCD. If this was not perfectly written so that every single teenager and tween can related to at least one character on the show, I don’t know what is. 
2. Even kids in Wheelchairs can be in show choir! and score chicks! Have faith. You go Arty. Life has infinite possibilities
3. Dolphins are just Gay Sharks. It’s true. Brittany said so. She also is turned on by people kissing her armpits. She is, THE best character on the show. just because of her one liners alone. and especially because she’s pretty sure her cat has been reading her diary. 
4. Will Schuester is probably one of the most good lucking high school teachers possible. He also has the most game. I mean look at the guy. Perfect ass. At least 6 women on the show have loved him/been attracted to him/hooked up with him. Even Sue Sylvester. Hot damn he’s got game.
5. The show has also had the honor to guest star amazing people like Idina Menzel, Olivia Newton John, Kristin Chenoweth, and especially NEIL PATRICK HARRIS. Any show to feature Neil Patrick Harris wins 1000000 X Infinity points. that man is God’s gift to earth. 
6. To gain permission for smashing an egg into someone’s head, the person must say “Break it, break it like you broke my heart” to you. If they don’t, you’re not allowed to. Rule of life. Plus it’s utterly corny and humorous.

1. Josie and The Pussycats is the Best Movie ever 
2. DuJour means family. DuJour means Teamwork. DuJour means seatbelts. basically the movie implies that DuJour means… well.. everything 
3. Puppies turn in to dogs, who grow old, and DIE 
4. Orange is the new Pink 
5. Gatorade is the new Snapple 
6. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. And when the going gets tough, the tough makes lemonade 
7. Subliminal messages are pretty much the best thing in the world

1. It only counts if you see nipple.
2. If you have sex, you will get pregnant and die.
3. Joining Mathletes is social suicide.
4. Halloween is the one time a year that girls can dress like a slut and no other girl can say anything like that.
5. There’s no Caller ID when calling from information.
6. The rules of feminism state that exboyfriends are off limits.
7. The limit does not exist.
8. You can’t just ask people why they’re white
9. Stop trying to make Fetch happen, it’s not going to happen

I added in 8 and 9, but Credits to maddizzlee! You go Glen coco!